1. |
The Man I Admire
02:12
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I was dreaming last night of molten figures waiting by my window
I was hoping you would save me from the dark
Instead you hid under your pillow
And I thought to myself how could you
Hide your head when your house is on fire?
Darling I know you feel blue
But where is the man I admire?
I was screaming last night at cartoon critters climbing up my curtains
I was hoping you would save me from the smoke
Instead you undid your shirt
Oh I paused and I thought to myself
Oh those demons are really whispering
And they don't seem good for my health
And ain't in the mood for listening
So I just came back into bed
And I covered up my yellow head
And said let's pretend we're asleep instead
And you nodded till you nodded off
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2. |
Heaven
04:00
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Have you ever felt like you lost someone
Even while they're by your side?
Like nothing's real and you can't heal the wound between you
No matter how hard you try
Have you ever made out like everything is A-ok
When really it's already come undone?
If that's the way you spend your days and nights then oh love
I want you to keep holding on
I want you to keep holding on
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
I know life can be unkind and you've got heaven on your mind
But I want you to keep holding on
Have you ever had time to think things over until you see so clear
What more you could have done?
You're sick and tired of waking up the same oh every morning
Making bets on moving on
And I don’t know why, you want me to continue now
And it's no surprise, you do
Oh and if I could I, I would tell you what it's worth it for
But I can't lie to you
Oh I want you to keep holding on
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
Coz I know life can be unkind
When you've got heaven on your mind
But I want you to keep holding on
Coz I know you pray every night of your life
I know you held out for a savior deep inside
And though it hurts my heart to say it
Life is just a game
And we all lose
Yeah we all lose
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
I know life can be unkind
And you've got leaving on your mind
But I want you to keep holding on.
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
Yeah I want you to keep holding on
I know life can be unkind
And you've got Heaven on your mind
But please keep holding on.
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3. |
Fine & Peachy
02:52
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Fuck you just tell me what you want to say
Instead of screwing with my head for days
Why so long to spit out what is on your mind?
I'm growing so sick of the ways in which you waste my time
So just send it straight, straight down the middle at me
Coz I can think of a billion other places I would rather be
That stranded in the cold wind that’s been blowing from you lately
Ah pretending everything is just fine and peachy
Fuck you I can't believe it's come to this
Don't try and tempt me with your Judas kisses
Don't try and act as if you're on my side
Oh what good's a man who won't meet my eye?
So just send it straight, straight down the middle at me
Coz I can think of a billion other places I'd rather be
That stranded in the cold wind that’s been blowing from you lately
And pretending everything is just fine and peachy
I don't want the lies
I want the lies
I wanna live
(I don’t want lies no more, only the truth)
So just send it straight, straight down the middle at me
Coz I can think of a billion other places I would rather be
That stranded in the cold wind that’s been blowing from you lately
And pretending everything is just fine and peachy.
(Can I get a little honesty, can I get a little honesty from you?)
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4. |
The Woman You Want
04:19
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8 a.m. and I hear the birds go
The mattress moves as he exits, by the window
And I wonder oh when will I wake up ok
And I wish that he could see inside my head
And quiet my head
Quiet my head
I can’t be the woman you want right now
Yeah it takes all I have just to be a little kind
And I don’t think I will be like this for long, but I just need a while
To allow my heaving mind to riot and my limbs to paralyse.
And quiet my head
Oh quiet my head
And the neighbours out the front again
Making jokes about Armageddon in the rain
I'll be honest I'm barely holding it down
And I hate it but I have to shut you out
To quiet my head
(8 a.m. again)
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5. |
Waiting Game
04:12
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I’m a woman golden brown
Watch my hair unwind
Careless colours pooling in your mind
Falling for my fate
I don’t want to hesitate
So I ask around about you, I speak your name
And in my heart I play a waiting game
And at the alter of my love I sit and pray
Until the air is filled with morning light and radio waves
Oh will today be the day?
I’m a woman golden brown
Dressed in lace and white
Pressed up to my window pane tonight
Searching for my fate
I don’t want to hesitate
So I ask around about you, I speak your name
And in my heart I play a waiting game
And at the alter of my love I sit and pray
Until the air is filled with morning light and radio waves
Oh will today be the day?
I lie still
What a sweet thrill
To be here and know to meet you soon
The light breeze is a warm tease from the moon
So I ask around about you, I speak your name
And in my heart I play a waiting game
And at the alter of my love I sit and pray
Until the air is filled with morning light and radio waves
Oh will today be the day?
Oh will today be the day?
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6. |
Tired of Trying
04:20
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I see it all before me laid out like a road so steep
And I don't know what I'm doing but I am doing it
Just hoping I'll find my feet
And I will be honest I'm tired of
Trying so hard
I see the rains of warning
Soon my dreams may be soaking through
But I’m done now with talking
Oh please can I sing to you
Coz I will be honest I'm tired of
Trying so hard
And I will be honest I'm tired of
Trying so hard
If you call to see me I'll be fine
Not crying all the time
Envy in my mind
I will be honest I'm tired
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7. |
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I keep thinking I will see you in the morning
Waking up and finding I am alone
I need reminding to forget you
Every evening
Now you’re gone
But I still feel you
I sense you all around me
I see your shadow slipping round the walls
And if I’m quiet and I listen
I hear your call and
I hear come back to me
Come back to your family
Oh it is too soon
To lose you
I keep finding things I never knew existed
I’ve been learning more about you each day
I’ve been losing my affection for flowers
Send them away
I’ve been reading about how I should be feeling
And I have been told that I should try my hand at prayer
So I close my eyes up tight and I wish with all my might
That you were here and
I breathe come back to me please
Come back to your family
Oh it is too soon
To lose you
I breathe come back to me please
Come back to your family
Oh it was too soon
To lose you
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8. |
Now You're Alone
03:57
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I'm sorry I didn't pick up, I swear that I was on my own
I didn't mean to freak you out
Yeah I just needed a little unknown
I tried to warn you
I swear I tried
But if I'd done better maybe we could have survived
But I sat with my back to the door
Thinking in the end nothing matters anymore
Now you're alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Now you're alone
Do you feel the way that I do?
I'm sorry I didn't speak up
I didn't mean to bring you down with me
Oh it's not that I don't care
It’s just that I'm no good company
Oh and I tried to warn you
I tell you I tried
But if I'd done better maybe we could have survived
But I sat with my back to the door
Thinking in the end
Nothing matters anymore
Now you're alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Now you're alone
Do you feel the way that I do?
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9. |
Blossom
03:25
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Blossom grows on the trees where you last lay here
Constant grey giving way to the blue
And I’m going round, all day digging up the soil
Turning over leaves and searching for renewal
And as the air begins to warm I breathe it in
And as my heart begins to swell I think it must be Spring again
I tell myself I’m dreaming oh in order not to raise the hope
I’ve been in hibernation for so long now I would just like to know
But as the air begins to warm I breathe it in
And as my heart begins to sing I think it must be Spring again
And I am going round, yeah all day digging up the soil
And I’m turning over leaves and searching for renewal
And as the air begins to warm I breathe it in
And as my heart begins to swell I think it must be Spring again.
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Eliza Shaddad London, UK
Ethereal grunger growing up.
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